


Please, hold my hand again.

by golden_queen_in_love



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃！巨人中学校 | Shingeki! Kyojin Chuugakkou | Attack on Titan: Junior High
Genre: Holding Hands, M/M, Sad Armin Arlert, Sad Ending, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25153327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_queen_in_love/pseuds/golden_queen_in_love
Summary: "I'm so tired of feeling alone."
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Kudos: 24





	Please, hold my hand again.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Starry night.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25006231) by [golden_queen_in_love](https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_queen_in_love/pseuds/golden_queen_in_love). 



> Hold someone's hand.
> 
> Definition: _Give a person comfort, guidance, or moral support in a difficult situation._

* * *

Since he was a child, he never held a hand after their parents’ hands.

He used to walk alone in that cruel and beautiful world after his grandfather said him about the death of his parents, and he learned how to do that.

First, he felt lonely, a strange hollow into his chest, which was making a tornado with his feelings, shaking and collapsing all the good emotions to leave bad emotions at the top of his head.

But not only bad emotions to make himself treat people as they were trash, no, but those were also bad emotions related to himself.

Thought for years about himself as an idiot, someone very weak and without any advantage that could make him have good abilities that could change the world and make people happy.

Or even makes himself happy.

In that area of the wall was not the best option for a living but also he had a place to call home because still, it was his grandfather, but if he would be alone in that time, maybe he could escape of those walls and died as his parents did; because he wanted to go with them.

Nevertheless, something happened.

A normal day of whatever year in that big country for that little blonde guy was as the other days.

First, he helped at his grandfather with some housework, and then his grandpa gave him a few coins to buy fresh bread for the lunch.

He was very happy; the day was very bright, and the sky was not so clean because some clouds were ornamented on it, and on the air was something that made people say good morning at the rest.

Armin, proud of his few coins ran into the local bakery, then bought three pieces of the fresh bread but, something that he couldn’t predict was the impact that he had when he was walking at his home.

Three guys, taller than him but almost of his age, attacked him and taking the bread off.

Those guys were always the same, annoying and hurting his little body just for fun, or to get the things that he with effort obtained.

It was not the first day they hurt him, and it will be not the last day.

But this time, something stranger happened.

When he was crying and looking at the hurts that those boys made this time, a voice sounded from his side.

—Hey.

First, he felt scared.

People always wanted to hurt him because he was not as the kid at his age, and he also was weak. Also, he thought that maybe those guys were returning to kick him again, or maybe they forgot to treat him as always.

—Why don’t you ever fight back?

The next worlds made him turned his head at the wall on the right, looking a guy loomed with a bored glare, or that was his blurred glare could see since the floor.

—That’s why they treat you like that. Do you want to keep losing forever?

The voice of the kid was soft and tough like he was trying to seem someone that sees a kid injured will be nothing important.

—I-I’m not losing...

Armin’s voice could sound, like a mutter; but he was feeling scared. Maybe that kid wanted also to kick him and take advantage of his state to rob something important for him. That was the reason for turned his head down and looked at the little river near to them.

The sound of the flowing water was something that could remember as the quiet after the storm because those guys always brought him at the place that none could see them and save him.

But the water, it was always next to him. And he was very thankful for his beautiful sound and quiet that support him after those hard kicks.

—What?

The question of that guy made him jumped in his place because it was not something that he expected. None of the guys in that city turned his head and asking him if he is fine or needs help. They just…

—Because I’m not running away.

This time his words sounded with more confidence for him, but he realized that he just talked in a common tone.

His glare was still on that beautiful crystal water running at some point in the city. Running away from the mundane problems, of the noisy city and letting all the bad things back.

Because water is something that humane cannot control. It will seep in the hands of whoever tries to catch it.

As the silences that are made to stop the time, as now.

Just one guy looking at the water, thinking about being like that and run away all the problems with easiness, but in the end, he was not so brave to do that.

And another guy that was admiring those words, because he never thought that guy could say something deep and seem too lost.

—Hey… What’s your name?

Armin’s glare raised at his left side, looking this time the kid that was talking to him. He didn’t seem someone dangerous, but his glare was something that caught his attention.

He cleaned his own eyes and then folded his arms to protect his body if that guy decides to attack him.

—Armin… Arlert Armin. —He answered the guy in front of him and then realized that he got closer to the blonde guy, but he just analyzed he way that those blue eyes were shinning by the tears that were leaving his eyes previously.

Now, those eyes just were shinning and analyzing at the boy; losing himself into the eyes of the kid, which seemed something very strange, as if he couldn’t show his emotion.

And then, the boy extended his hand at the blonde guy, trying to help him get up of the dirty floor.

—Eren.

First, Armin seemed scared. But then realized that gut didn’t make an attempt to hurt him, so he saved that thought at the back of his mind to and starting doubt about if take his hand will be something good.

But his body responded before to do something and took the hand of Eren to stand up.

That was the first time their hands were holding, for a few seconds but for Armin held his life.

But something was different, it was not the same feeling as holding his grandpa's hand; this feeling was fresher, inspired and made him felt happiness for a while, after those years of loneliness.

And the next years they were holding his hands, supporting all his ideas and learning to see life as the another does.

Armin learned about how the kid had a very strange mind which sometimes just transported at another part of the universe and made him think for hours, just looking at the sky. Also, he learned that Eren had curiosity the first time he talked about the things that could be on the other side of the wall.

That day they promised to go outside and explore what was the thing that books called the ocean.

For years just were those guys, making a very good friend and putting themselves in all the kinds of problems, which demonstrated that the personalities of both were opposite but it was right because when Eren was in a problem, Armin thought something to save him. And every time that Armin was in problems, Eren was ready to protect him.

And a particular day, a girl joined into his duo.

Mikasa was a serious girl at the beginning, looking with a curiosity glare at him and also always quiet at the background meanwhile they were talking about random stuff, and that was the panorama for months, but someday, meanwhile, Armin was kicking for some guys, she advocated without Eren knew.

Maybe the touch of her hand was not the same and didn´t make Armin have the same feeling, but this hand felt more comfortable and softer, as the feeling of love someone in a friendly way. In contrast to Eren’s hand, which was rougher, and he feels his cheeks when their hands are holding.

Armin was very surprised because he thought that they were not friends because never talked, but he realized that she was like that and since that day, when she helped him at get up, holding his hand; he understands something.

He was not more alone.

He had friends.

He had love.

He had a family near.

And the trio builds a very strong friendship through the years, making their personalities stand out, as their skills; because all were different and same as well.

Another day that changed his life, the most important day was the first attacked.

That day, at the morning, before that happened he left the last chance to hold the hand of Eren after being kicked by some guys who were annoying him because he said that there were more important things outside but people just considered him as a crazy guy.

Also, when Eren offered his hand, Armin thought that if he couldn’t support himself, he will never advocate for his ideas as was presumed before. So, he impulses himself and stands up to say just “I can´t stand up on my own.”, while his mind was repeating to himself about taking Eren’s hand, but he wanted to be useful for the first time.

What happened that day changed his life forever. His grandfather passed away when was requested as the people to recover its wall but just was lost of a lot of men at any victory.

Then his friends decided to join the military service, and he wanted too. He didn’t want to be alone so, he followed at his friends.

The four years of training were faster than he could assimilate. He obtained good opinions about his tactical skills meanwhile his physical skills were miserable.

And the day that he wanted to join at same group as his friends, he held the hand of Eren again, and understand that feeling was all the necessary thing to make him strong and confident about the actions that he will do.

Those years before were resuming on his first day on the battlefield.

Firstly, he felt scared, was very nervous but when Eren turned to him and gave him a sprinkle smile meanwhile was saying things about they will be so successful after completing that mission; made him felt more confident.

His best friend will be next to him in all the missions ahead and he was ready to success all the battles meanwhile he had an objective and a dream.

Discover the ocean with Eren.

So, he turned and followed orders that his generals were doing about protect the area of the Titans.

But when saw the reality in front of him, he fell in shock.

The titans were closing to him, and he just saw at his comrades died when they were trying to defend the area to save all those innocent people. And the worst scene to him saw at his best friend being caught by one of that beasts and destroy his leg without the opportunity to do something to defend him.

Maybe, once again, he was showing his real him, a weak guy that deserves die and not his comrades.

Armin’s eyes could see all the blood of those innocent soldiers too and without knowing it, a titan was close to him and caught him, making felt scared but also shook about what will happen later.

He was not ready to pass and tried to scream but the scare was bigger than him that no sound could split out of his mouth.

And the tongue of that horrible beast was the thing that realized his life ending on a world, where tragic things are eternal.

With his blurred glare, just could see a bright light coming in at the red mouth of that Titan, and then, he saw a hand.

No, he saw at his best friend.

He saw an angel in front of him, saying things related to their childhood dreams about going outside and explore the world.

He saw at Eren’s face for the last time and then when was his turn to save Eren’s of the mouth of that titan, when their hands touched for a while, something happened.

The arm of his best friend just dropped at the floor and Armin’s eyes were filled with tears, meanwhile, his mind was thinking about lost someone as Eren…

Lose some as the person that you love most, in front of your eyes, without have nothing that you could do to avoid it.

He felt his mind entered in a state of shock, where his body just falling on the roof of that harm house, meanwhile, his glare was still on that Titan.

_He killed Eren._

Eren died for him.

To save him.

_He will never hold that hand again._

And he will never get the support of someone.

He will be alone again.

He saw the hand that always was holding his hand, just dropped away from him.

Let him in loneliness again.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if there is a mistake in the writing, I'm not an English native speaker.  
> Thanks to read.


End file.
